In many ways it made perfect sense for her to get in that car with him. By all (earthly) standards, her marriage had reached its end.
They had fought the day before he left. Hard and loud and the words they spoke had a finality to them. Their home had become a tunnel of dark tension, and silence hung heavy from its rafters.
Then he boarded that plane with his rifle and his Marine Battalion and they both breathed a sigh of relief.
What do you do when you know your marriage is hanging by a thread and you’re so glad he left?
For six months you live life without him and you think it’s not so bad. Actually it’s a whole lot better than bad. Because a ceasefire has ensued, and the physical distance brings much needed relief. Like a cool compress on a fevered forehead.
After he left, she exhaled, shook off the remnants of a failing marriage, and went in search of a balm to heal her aching heart.
Because how do you grasp hold of hope for change when you have lived in the same mess of a marriage for 15 years?
We sat in that sports bar and I watched as she sized up her options. Because when a woman is cut deep by the words of a man, she thinks the only thing that will heal that wound, is “better” words from another man.
So she went in search of that better man offering, well, better!!!
And I dug deep for words that would make her stay. I searched for words that would send her home alone, with the hope of a new beginning with her husband. I spilled over with words that, I prayed, would make her see the possibility of change in her marriage.
But in the end the only change she really wanted was the change that came with a new man.
Because exhaustion overwhelmed her and cutting her losses seemed like a pretty healthy option.
After all, how do you fight for something you are not sure you really want to keep?
I stood on the platform watching this train wreck happen before my eyes. I watched as she left emails and letters unanswered from her husband, and spent more and more time with the man that would make it all okay.
But it wasn’t okay.
Because what she went in search of could only come from One source. And that source was most definitely not found in the arms of another Marine.
No one can fill the void in our heart that is meant only for God to fill.
That God shaped hole that exists deep within our souls; that yearning for unconditional acceptance and a love worth dying for; those deep soul desires can only be filled through a relationship with the One true God.
We may cram and tug and stretch to make people and things fill that void, but in the end it is a puzzle piece that just won’t fit.
Sure, we can puff up a man until he temporarily fills that void. And for a while, he rescues us from that crippled marriage, and promises us the white picket fence and unending love. He bloats with pride at this new role he takes on, but soon he deflates under the weight of it all.
Because that white picket fence eventually buckles under the storms of life, and his love doesn’t seem so pure.
And eventually we are left with the same void that started us on this roller coaster.
No one person truly rescues like the One True Rescuer.
The One who rescues us from this earthly life and promises us eternal life and purpose.
The One who rescues us from ourselves and our misguided choices, and gives Himself in exchange for us.
The One who can change a heart and bring life back to a dying marriage.
The One who fills that void with a love that is pure, unselfish, and never ending.
This One is a game changer. He takes our leftovers; the crumbs of our life tried on our own, and, if we allow, transforms them into the most succulent of feasts.
He is the One who can weave the threads of our marriage into a triple threat, strong and solid; He is the One who can bring change to a marriage that has been stagnant for 15 years; and He is the One who will fill a heart with desire to see this marriage succeed.
Now that is a love that makes perfect sense!