I was honored when my good friend asked me to participate in her daughter’s Birthday celebration. My sweet friend would be taking her now 13 year old daughter for a weekend getaway to talk to her about life, love, faith, and all that is relevant in the life of a teenage girl. I am honored to be a part of it and pray all of our daughters would embrace this passing on of knowledge, wisdom, and insight to the next generation!
To our Teenage Daughters,
I hope to offer you some words of wisdom that will help you on your journey through this life you call your own. Although each of our paths are different, we can learn from one another’s mistakes and missteps. My mistakes may not be your mistakes, and my weaknesses may not be your weaknesses, but allow me to share what I wish I knew at 13.
First and foremost, understand who you are. You are not only your parent’s daughter, you are a Child of the One True God. He has ordered your steps and accounts for every day of your life. There is purpose to His ordering of your days. There is purpose in YOUR life. Ask Him to reveal that purpose, and He will be faithful to show up!!! Don’t allow the mean girls of your life to belittle you or minimize your life. His opinion is all that matters!
Do not listen to this world when they tell you your worth is in your physical beauty. Your worth is found in God. And God cares most about who you are when no one but God is looking. He looks on the heart. Only man measures worth based upon the outward appearance.
Guard your heart. Know that each time you hand over your heart to a boy, there is a possibility it will not be returned to you in one piece. There is no rush in giving away your heart. But when you do, and heart ache steals your breathe away, you have a Father in heaven who binds up our wounds and reaches down to bring beauty out of the ashes of our life.
The amazing thing about a relationship with Jesus Christ, is that He takes the broken pieces of our lives and crafts them in to something beautiful. We all fall down at times. We all make mistakes. You will make mistakes. Forgive yourself and forgive others. Our hearts break, dreams derail, and life does not always follow the path we expected. But Jesus Christ is there through it all. There is nothing you can do to separate you from the love of Jesus Christ. Believe this!!! Remember this!!!! It is a truth that will help you sleep at night.
And so there is this…..let’s talk about sex. In this life there are some things that once you give away, you can never get back. And this giving away leaves you depleted. This giving away makes it a little bit easier to give some more away. And before you realize, large chunks of you are missing and you are just a bit numb. Please listen when I say that a boy will not ask this of you if he indeed has your best interest in mind. Don’t allow anyone to minimize sex in your mind. Sex is a beautiful thing that can blossom and bloom into the most beautiful bouquet if nurtured in the right season. But if forced to bloom to quickly, it will morph in to something it was entirely not meant to be. And we parents want to be realistic and prepare for the day our children decide to take this leap toward adulthood. But can I hold you to a high standard? It is possible to wait!!! Wait for the right man, wait for the right time, wait for your wedding day! I promise you it will be so much more than you can even imagine it to be on that day.
Finally, expect BIG things from God. ASK big things of God. We are so often nearsighted and expect so little of Him. He is a BIG God….expect Him to act like one!!!
Praying you build your life on the solid rock that is Christ Jesus!
And so I encourage you to speak truth in to the lives of your daughters (and son’s). Share with them how God molded your life and took the shattered pieces of your life and made them into a beautiful masterpiece.
“Listen, my son, to your father’s instruction and do not forsake your mother’s teaching. They will be a garland to grace your head and a chain to adorn your neck. ” Proverbs 1:8-9
“The unfolding of your words gives light; it gives understanding to the simple.” Psalm 119:130
For ideas on how to start this conversation with your daughter’s and son’s, check out Generations of Virtue